This is 40 Over 40… meet Susan

Sometimes, I feel like I meet an angel.

I know how that sounds. And I’m not trying to be a Hallmark card.

But sometimes, the person standing in front of me is simply full of light. They have dedicated their life to helping others. And they’re simply brimming full of warmth and laughter. Susan is such a person.

I think I told her within a few minutes of meeting her that I just wanted to give her a hug. She has that affect. And so it is perfect that she has dedicated her time and energy to helping new mothers navigate the first few, often difficult steps though parenting. I can only imagine newborns falling blissfully asleep in her arms within moments, and the reassurance I would have felt as a scared new mum myself had Susan been there to guide me with a warm smile and sage advice. To say she has found her calling is an understatement. She was born for this.

Susan’s shoot started slowly, she was nervous - as is everyone - but laughter came easily and soon we had some favourite tunes to bring the mood. I’m a big believer in the power of a simple fan in your hair to make you feel like you’re invincible - try it! - and I felt the need to see Susan enveloped in the wash of beautiful bright light within the studio - dressed all in white, laughing and fully lit up. These first few images of her laughing within this light are some of my all-time favourite. I hope you enjoy reading her story x

As part of the experience of the campaign, each of the 40 women featured were asked to share their thoughts in response to 10 questions, as I want to share each woman’s story, in her own words, and show that we are so much more than just pretty pictures.

Here’s what Susan has to say…

What is 'beautiful' to you? What do you think that means? And when do you feel most beautiful?

Beautiful. To me, beautiful is something you do for someone that makes a positive difference to or for them.

I feel most beautiful when I’m at work.

What are you most looking forward to as you get older?

Watching my children grow and sharing my knowledge and learning new things.

If you had the chance to say something to your younger self, what would it be?

Never be scared to tell the truth no matter how ugly it may e or who it may hurt. Being silent helps no one and may cause endless pain and suffering.

Love yourself and take time to look after yourself.

Do you have a significant moment when you started to love / value yourself?

No, I'm still working on having the ability to do this.

How has your relationship to the role of Motherhood changed you?

It has made me very aware of what was in my own upbringing and how it has impacted on my own abilities as a mother.

If you could be the woman of your dreams - who would you be? Tell me about her…

A woman with self love.

In what ways do you feel like you've gotten better with age? What are the gifts of ageing?

With age I have had time to recognise I needed to heal and start healing myself. I have learnt how to find my own path. Learnt to avoid triggers from my past.

In my eyes, the gifts of ageing are…. Experience, understanding, gratitude and the ability to empower others with your knowledge.

What legacy do you want to leave? If you weren't here tomorrow, how do you want to be remembered?

My legacy would be to have empowered many new parents with great skills and knowledge as they enter parenthood. I would like to be remembered as a person who always spoke her truth, loved her husband and children and was kind and generous.

And lastly - in your own words, tell me your story…

My story.

I was born in a small South Island town in New Zealand. My father was a compulsive Gambler and suspected undiagnosed high functioning autism. My mother was brought up on a successful dairy farm. Her family was close and but had many secrets. I experienced my parents marriage breakdown as a young child and my mother leaving her family home with her four babies under the age of 6 years.

My early school years with only one parent present. During this time there was ongoing episodes of sexual abuse from my grandfather. Around the age of 9 years my mother began a new relationship with the her to-be second husband. He was an old school man but took on mum with all her four children and was mostly very caring and a good provider. But in saying that he was a very angry man who used alcohol often from which resulted in a different kind of abuse in the family home. This made the teenage years very difficult.

School was somewhere to escape home life. But with all of this I learnt many skills as both my parents worked. By the age of 12 I was able to cook, clean, manage laundry and do many chores on the farm. At the time I didn’t appreciate the life skills I received during this time till much later. I left this home at 15 years to live with my biological father and his family. This experience was not what I though it would be either. My stepmother was very jealous of my relationship with my father and made life very difficult with her dislike and disapproval of my living in their home and having to share her new husband and her son. There was lots of emotional and some physical abuse from her too.

As I started my working career and finding my way in the world this is when it became apparent my upbringing differed from many. It wasn’t until I had my own children I was to realise the complete impact of my upbringing. At the age of 19 years I was to tear my shoulder tendon and this wouldn’t be repaired until I was 30 years old. So I experienced chronic pain for many years and I had to rethink my working career as I was unable to continue working in the same field. This is when I trained to become a professional nanny.

This was life changing for me, I realised why people went to university to study if it was a passion of theirs. Then I headed to London on my own at 22 years old after just having met my husband to-be three weeks prior to leaving. My time in London was incredible.

I then returned to marry and continuing my nanny career. Then along came two children who completed our family. Our son was to teach us lots about genetics, being diagnosed with ADHD and Aspergers. I was to experience a difficult birth with my first child our daughter and this resulted in a nasty tear and ongoing bowel issues which are still present today. We all joke about the “code browns” but it isn’t really funny!

We moved to Australia in 2003 and this was very empowering being so removed from my extended family and making it more evident it wasn’t what we wanted for our children to experience. Since working in Australia I have enjoyed a very successful career as a professional maternity nanny. This is my happy place helping new parents with my knowledge and skills learnt in my 30 years experience. I have and I’m still on an incredible journey with our two children. With raising two children on the autism spectrum I have experienced many highs and lows. My son suffered severe bullying during his school years especially high school and suffered morbid depression. There is nothing to prepare you in this situation and I have to admit it nearly broke me watching him during this time and knowing this is life long and everyone has their own path. My daughter continues to amaze me with her endless achievements in what she sets her mind to. With her I mourn the fact that she isn’t into chatting daily and she shows her affection in a very different way.

I continue to this day to provide love and support to my children as they grow into adults. My husband is my rock and I am complete with him by my side.

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Want to be part of the campaign?

If you want to be part of the 40 Over 40 project, head over here to read all the details and register for the campaign. If you’ve already registered but still need to book your Consult Call or your shoot date, head over there now, I can’t wait to take you through this experience x

With Love + Light, Fiona 🖤

This is 40 Over 40… meet Kristina

This, I think we can all agree, has been a year.

For some, the challenges presented by 2020 have been almost academic - something to read about and hear about in the news, but not really anything to have any immediate effect. For others, the effects of this year have been monumental, almost insurmountable. For Kristina and her family, this year has been confrontational and disruptive, and will leave it’s ripples in her family for some time to come.

As a career pilot, Kristina has now been through two industry-levelling events. She had just graduated flight school and was living in the states when the events of 9/11 changed the future of air travel - and her career - forever. As a newly graduated pilot, she became a barista for a time while her industry recovered and emerged anew. After the events of this year and their effects on her (and her husbands!) careers as pilots, she’s vowed to make a change and start afresh with a new direction.

Having spent most of the year separated from her husband by distance (he was on the other side of the globe when the lockdowns and quarantines began, and has been working to get home ever since), she has found herself in the role of sole parent to their 2 children, and seeking a new career for the first time since deciding as a girl that her dream was to be a pilot.

When we spoke on the phone before her shoot, she told me that she wanted a record of this time so that she could look back and see that despite it all, they were still standing, that she had resilience, and that she and her kids knew that they would find strength they didn’t know they had because of this journey. It was right then I knew I couldn’t wait to meet her, and document this time for her to revisit again - when the time was right.

Kristina - thank you for your candour, your vulnerability and your trust. I hope these images and this experience helps you to remember always, that you are indeed a bad-ass 🤘

As part of the experience of the campaign, each of the 40 women featured were asked to share their thoughts in response to 10 questions, as I want to share each woman’s story, in her own words, and show that we are so much more than just pretty pictures.

Here’s what Kristina has to say…

What is 'beautiful' to you? What do you think that means? And when do you feel most beautiful?

I was always taught to use the word 'beautiful' to refer to a person's outward appearance. In my late teens, I certainly didn't see myself as 'beautiful' and I was uncomfortable with the traditional description of the word, so I adapted the word, made it my own, and created a description of a person who exudes kindness. This was comfortable to me, beauty and kindness, synonymous and interchangeable; and it is still how I see beauty today. I still strive to be beautiful and kind, and I find it still a challenge as it draws on me to be softer and gentler than I must be in my professional career.

What are you most looking forward to as you get older?

To not give a shit about as much as I do right now. To let go of the stress of everyday, release 'friends' who are toxic, not care about those extra kilos, to keep a messy house, and to embrace all criticism and openly laugh at awkward and difficult situations. Which all translates to just being comfortable with the person I'm evolving into.

If you had the chance to say something to your younger self, what would it be?

Speaking to my younger self, I would say; " take more chances, don't do what is expected of you, learn to recognize and take all the opportunities you are offered, don't be afraid to say Goodbye...." I look back with the wisdom of hindsight and wish I had taken that job, or returned that call, or taken that chance encounter - my life would have been more rewarding/easier if I'd taken that other path. Instead, I let fear inhibit my actions and leave regrets.

Do you have a significant moment when you started to love / value yourself?

No, I'm not there yet. I'm a work in progress... I do acknowledge the moment when I stopped loving myself! I had made a big decision outside my comfort zone, and it didn't go well, I should have admitted my mistake and yet, I continued to make one bad decision after another until I felt I couldn't ever correct or make it right. One small step at a time to get a better place....

How has your relationship to the role of Motherhood changed you?

It has broken me. I can see now, that being a mother doesn't come naturally, or easily to me. I mother with too much of my own baggage in my words and actions. I'm learning to step back, and let my children forge their own path without my judgement pushing them in a particular direction. Learning I'm just here to guide them, and stop them from injuring themselves is a process I'm working through.

If you could be the woman of your dreams - who would you be? Tell me about her…

She is the definition of Confidence! She can field strip an AK-47 at lunch and make Beef Stroganoff that night for dinner! Eats what she wants, drinks like a fish, and can look after herself in a rough situation. Comfortable in both formal and informal social circles, best friends with her kids and always hanging and having a fun time! She laughs in the face of fear and eats stress for breakfast - she kicks ass everywhere she goes! She is Confidence!

In what ways do you feel like you've gotten better with age? What are the gifts of ageing?

I've learnt to recognize a bad situation for what it is - oh, I still make mistakes, I'm just better and wiser at dealing with the consequences. Errors are not the dramatic be-all and end-all they are in one's younger days. I'm now able to exercise patience and the ability to stop and think of all aspects of a situation and then live with my decision. I wouldn't say one does get smarter with age, just better at using brain cells to look at decisions with patience and wisdom. I'm better at slowing down, which I've been trying to do for years.

What legacy do you want to leave? If you weren't here tomorrow, how do you want to be remembered?

I would love to remembered as a trailblazer, who strove for the unattainable, and achieved it through perseverance, tenacity and resilience. I remember saying to my mother when I was 13 years old; " I'm going to be a flight attendant when I grow up!" She asked why I had chosen that particular profession, and I had replied," because I love aeroplanes so much." She then uttered the words which would change my life, " then why not be a pilot?" I didn't even know girls could be pilots! What a revelation!

And lastly - in your own words, tell me your story…

I've been fortunate to have travelled the world, first with my family and then with my job. I have met extraordinary people in ridiculously amazing circumstances, and have experienced more cultures and adventures than most. From being the first female bellhop in Australia to achieving command as a Captain for an airline in the United States; I've survived two industry crippling events in the last twenty years, remained married through it all, and been blessed with two healthy children. I've returned to Australia seeking a kinder environment for my kids to experience, and now find myself contemplating a career change. I'm going to use this downtime of 2020 as a reflection and a 'RESET' for myself and my attitude. My new goal is to be kinder to myself, my kids and in the words of John Lennon, " let it be, let it be..."

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Want to be part of the campaign?

If you want to be part of the 40 Over 40 project, head over here to read all the details and register for the campaign. If you’ve already registered but still need to book your Consult Call or your shoot date, head over there now, spaces are almost full.

With Love + Light, Fiona 🖤